I DID IT!

After a month and a half of writing on this book, I've now passed two major milestones in one day: 1) I've now written well over 200 pages and 2) I let my husband read the first five chapters. For anyone who reads this blog, you'll know what at terribly frightening prospect that was (the husband part). Well, I handed him the second draft of Part I and now I'm on to flesh out Part II. I didn't want to be there when he started reading, because his face is a bit like an open book. He read and he read and when he stopped reading I thought he might have something to say or maybe have some questions. But sadly he didn't. So I brushed my teeth and started to go to bed and asked how far he had read; a silly question because of course no sensible person would read more or less of one chapter in an evening sitting. Arn't I stupid. Still failing to bring the conversation I was seeking to life, I furthered a remark: "Well, that was fast." To which he replied: "Not really, it was only fifteen pages." Perhaps I'm a bit over sensitive, but ouch that was a very pointed 'only.' But in the interest of not spooking him, he has agreed to read it, I am letting the lack of discussion lie for the moment. Maybe there will be some response at the end of Part I? I will just have to wait and see.

As for Part II, writings going well. Once again, I had some wonderful brainstorms in the shower yesterday (about an hour before I had to leave for my sister's birthday dinner: Hi, Taylor) and so very quickly went to the computer to pour everything out onto the page. I had been a bit worried that after a few days spent rewriting and proofing Part I my mind would have trouble shifting focus back to producing new material, but low and behold it was ready and raring for the task and the words have been flowing nicely ever since. I hate to walk away from the computer today, but I have to actually pretend to be a housewife for awhile and take care of the banalities of life. I've also promised myself a trip to the gym, once I noticed that too many days in front of the computer were causing spider veins...eww! So I need to get the blood flowing to clear out my circulatory system and the cobwebs in my brain. Who knows, I might have some great inspiration on the elliptical. God I love that thing! J.A.

Back From the Back of Beyond

I've just returned from an extended trip to visit the family. I took along a draft of the first five chapters to review and rework, but needless to say, in all the confusion of what turned out to be a most terrible series of events (including many hospital visits) I barely opened the plastic cover I'd lovingly created before I left. Usually I like to take these obstacles and adventures as opportunities for creative exploration, but today after assessing my emotional fatigue I can barely stare at this screen without falling asleep or breaking down into senseless tears. I'm just tired. After a week's vacay from the writing wagon, I've been itching to jump back in, but the brain is not cooperating. I feel unsettled and unsteady and these are never good places for me to work from; my thoughts are too scattered and shifting.

I did start reading Tender is the Night in between trips to the hospital. I've always loved Fitzgerald's turn of phrase and so far I'm even more in love now than I ever was with Damned or Gatsby. I'm still not sure why his characters are so young, though perhaps this has something to do with the autobiography of it all. For me, it's hard to imagine such young people being so complex. I mean, can you name a 19 year old today who would have the self-possession and awareness of Rosemary or the distant disturbance of Nicole (only 24). I myself am breathing down the neck of 30 and even with years of travel and exposure to "the rest of the world," I don't think I am half as comfortable with myself as these people, half of whom are mentally ill. Maybe that's just me. J.A.

Apologies For My Brief Absence

Sorry to have been away for awhile. I've been furiously working on my "new thing" for a week or so and have been too absorbed in it to think of much else (including laundry, dishes, dinner, family or sadly my husband). Luckily, everyone has been very good about my sudden disappearance and neglect of my regularly scheduled duties. My husband has been happily eating take out for the last several days (I hope this unexpected pleasure is not an indication of the quality of my cooking). I have been slaving away and in the last week have been hitting the big numbers and surprisingly enough I think it all is quality. At least it feels good. At last count I was up to an astonishing 38,000 words this month and February still has six more days left. Needless to say I'm ahead of schedule and pretty proud. A lot of this success I think has come down to the support of my own planning and organization.

I've been diligent with my notebooks and binders this time, rigorously preparing character bios, chapter outlines, setting maps and sections. It has been more prep work than normal, but I think it is really paying off in my confidence in my words and motives. The plot is of course important and I had that firmly established long ago, but the development of characters, family groups and dynamics has been essential for this one and I'm trying hard to earn every ounce of progress. It is really wiping me out at the end of the day...explaining feebly the present state of my house.

I've been doing some reading on novel length lately and am happy to report that I seem to be on track for an average novel. The online advice I've found so far can be found here. However, there does seem to be a lack of consensus on page length; with some critics suggesting 250 words per page and others stacking it up closer to 500. Any thoughts or feelings on the subject would be gratefully received. J.A.

Murdoch & Harpers

Yesterday was a solid start, not great, but solid. I've been reading a book on writing by an ex-Green Beret called The Novel Writer's Tool Kit. He suggests that one of the main secrets of successful writers is constant reading and analysis of other novels. Though I'm not only interested in novel writing, it is something I'm working on so I say great! I love reading and I've spent the last decade lost in critical analysis, so here we go.

Today, I'm reading two wondrous tomes of literature: Iris Murdoch's The Green Knight and Harper's Magazine. Laymen may wonder why I hold Harper's in such esteem, well to put it bluntly, they are one of the few remaining American magazines that regularly pay for works of fiction. So their Reading section is one of the places I'm going to send my work (someday). I say aim high or don't bother bringing your gun to town, so it's important to size up the competition. Harper's won't be the only place I'll try, of course, but they're one of the big names that some regular people actually read.

My other favorite that I'm dishing about today, is Iris Murdoch:

Like me, Murdoch spent the greater part of her formative years at Oxford and met her husband there, as did I (Sylvia Plath did the same at Cambridge, but that's a story for another day). So, on New Year's Day I started reading The Green Knight for the first time and I'm blown away by the twists and turns in plot. More than anything, Murdoch demonstrates an amazing ability to juggle an unbelievably expansive cast of characters, popping them in and out of scenes with a mastery and complete understanding that I personally find impossible. At present (the point where my bookmark is currently seated), she has brought forth twelve main characters (including a collie), who all have interwoven backstories and complicated mannerisms. This does not even include all the minor characters that I am sure will be coming to the fore soon.

What I find most impressive is that none of these terribly complex individuals would be distinct without the use of impressions from the other characters. In short, it is not clear who the main character is or even which of the characters is the intended protagonist (for they are all so faulty that I don't really want to delve too far into any of them). Normally, this would make me want to stop reading, for surely there should always be at least one character that you side with, but the interactions are all so wonderfully interesting that I'm afraid I find it hard to put down.

In Tool Kit, Mayer writes that there is always one scene or image that was the origin of a story and as a writer you should try to track that key moment of inspiration down. I can only assume that Murdoch's first image was either of two boys playing a game affectionately referred to as 'Dogs' or of a small ugly man trying to beat a lovely looking man to death with a baseball bat. Either way, the story that evolves from these two incidents (both of which are only related either in passing or flash back) is heartbreaking and confusing, but entirely compelling. I take away from it a need to find a purpose for my writing; a message that is unexpected by the reader. Murdoch shows that it is not simply plot or characters that drive a story, but a skillful combination of the two. Otherwise, you are left with a shell of a novel and let's face it no one wants to read fluff all the time.

On another note, I finished 1,500 words today and have almost moved on to the editing phase of a short story I started over Christmas in England. I'm at a crossroads, however, in that too much of the story is taken from real life and I'm not sure the characterizations will be favorably received.

So what do you think? Should I do the smart thing and mask my characters a bit better or should I stick by the original idea? Maybe a bit of both? As always tips, feedback and suggestions are very welcome. J.A.

The Goal: One Year To Follow A Dream

Hello Ladies and Gents,

After a solid year of unemployment, I'm allowing myself 1 year and 1 year only, to follow my dream and become a real writer. For years I've toiled away in silence, writing for me, myself and I, but no more! The goal is by year's end to have published something, anything, anywhere for pay. Even if it is for a tuppence, I will be published or I will throw in the towel and take a job at First Data (like my mother has suggested). Each day, I will write at least 1,000 words and begin to send out submissions to magazines, newspapers, literary agents, etc. until someone hears my call.

Most people might find this daunting or extreme, but after four years in college, three years in graduate school and two years of attempting to get by on pitiful excuses for academic employment, I now find myself a year into what looks to be a lifetime of unemployment so I figured what's the harm in trying to get paid for something I love. I won't post my writings on here (that somehow feels a step too egocentric), but I will chart my journey of success or failure for you each day (or so). By the end, if nothing else I will have a how to manual for how not to get published.

In the meantime, I am very happy to hear from any of you who might have thoughts or suggestions for my journey to publication. I'll be doing a lot of research into the business of writing (something I know very little about) and will feed that back through if I find anything helpful or interesting. Till then, I'm off to writing land for the day! J.A.